And so, as I lay in bed, I got wrapped up in the conversation my mom and I had yesterday about marriage. I told her that marriage wasn't what I expected it to be, and she had asked how so. I didn't really have a definite answer, only that nothing really ever prepares you for it, and that it is so much harder than you think! I remember in Young Women's, how my leaders always made marriage sound like this fairy tale story. Maybe they mentioned it was hard work as well, I don't remember. But they made it sound like when you get married, it's a free ride from there. So I assumed that things would be easier, rather than harder. Ha!
Of course, marriage is one of the best things that ever happened to me. And it's a lot of fun! I have a husband whose number one goal in life is to make me laugh and smile. I also have a husband who for some reason, leaves his socks all over the apartment. Or has this slight addiction to computer games. :) But I love Denver and all his little quirks. That's the beauty about marriage, you really do come to know your eternal companion each day. And I thank my mom for telling me that marriage is hard work. I really do appreciate that. You have to earn happiness by keeping the commandments and living faithfully. I have a testimony of that.
I love family. I have always loved what that word means. And I have always been super close to my family. I know families can be together forever. And I love the word "can". They don't say families will be together forever, because that implies it's a free ride. Families CAN be together if everyone works together to support each other and love each other.
Needless to say, I am abundantly blessed. And I try each day to thank Heavenly Father for what He has given me, by being the best daughter I can be. Love that family tie.
I think the "work" part of marriage is a surprise for a lot of people, including myself! There were plenty of frustrations in our first year (although if you ask Scott he'll say it was bliss). And it's still work. But I think as you get to know each other you understand each other better, and know when to pick your battles. (Gaming -- been there, I can sooo relate.). Somehow, it all works out. As long as you are both working and trying to make the other happy. I think it's just the tendency of us wives to worry about it a whole lot more than the men. :)
ReplyDeleteI love the word "can" too. I'm constantly trying to teach my little boy that "can't" isn't in our vocabulary! but we can do it, marriage is hard and, in my opinion, having children is hard too. But I can do it! slowly I learn to be better at being a wife, very slowly. I feel like with each year I improve on something and usually they are little things. But's it's like Shannon said, and like I'm sure you know, it's all about choosing your battles, I try to ask myself, "Is it REALLY a big deal? Can I learn to not care?". It works!
ReplyDeleteMarriage isn't any one big thing, its a lot of little things. What a insightful post...I love having you in our family...I am blessed with many(4) beautiful daughters.
ReplyDeleteI think denver carries dannys sock gene. =) sorry about that.
Thanks for letting us be a part of your life....some young married girls have a hard time letting the "other" parents in...thanks you for your caring
Did your mom write this? Because this is what she always says! ;)
ReplyDeleteMelissa--like mother like daughter right? :D
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that you and Denver are committed and willing to stick together through the ups and downs of marriage. In Sister Oaks' talk at the CES Fireside last night she mentioned that (not exact words, but my interpretation): "being married is an extension of your single life. There are still challenges to be overcome." I feel facing those challenges is much easier with a spouse that is committed and loves you eventhough you're not perfect. I, like you, am so thankful for family. I feel so blessed to have you as my daughter. Love you -- Mom
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