It must be the holiday season that has me in such a contemplative mood. I've reflected a lot on this past year this week. If you would have asked me in January if I thought I would have a baby by the end of the year, I would have thought you were absolutely insane. You see, I thought I was pretty content with my life. I had a good job, I had a church calling I adored-working with the Young Women. I had your Dad, and things seemed set in stone for a while.
One of the biggest lessons I've learned in life is when you start to get really comfortable, change must happen. I think that's because it helps us not become too indifferent, too proud, or what else. It's like using a muscle that's been pulled, if you don't work to make it useful again, it will just stay the way it is. So Lincoln, this is one lesson I will teach you. Change will happen, and even though it's hard (and that is seriously one hard sentence to write) it is usually for our good. The Lord knows what He wants us to accomplish, and it's up to us to learn what and why.
So of course change happened to your Dad and I. Your Dad and I moved from Modesto to Turlock. That was one hard move. I didn't want to move. I had to leave behind a terrific ward, calling, and friends. Even though it was not a huge move distance-wise, it was a huge move for me. And it was hard. So we moved in March. I still had my job, but had to commute just a little bit further. And then not too long afterwards, I found out I was pregnant with you. Talk about an earth shattering change. All of a sudden, all my plans I had mapped out needed to be changed. I had to make plans to quit my job. And I really didn't want to do that. I had been working since I was fifteen. I loved the feeling of making my own money, putting my education to good use, and feeling a sense of independence. I really didn't want to give that up. But, I knew it was the best thing for our family. Change must happen.
It's been an emotional week for me Lincoln. I am happy you are a part of our family. I am honored you are able to celebrate Thanksgiving with us this year, because more than anything, I am thankful for you. For the peace and happiness you bring me everyday. I am thankful for you teaching me that being a stay at home mother is really a job-harder than any previous job I've held. As this holiday season is slowly becoming full swing, I've thought about my hopes and dreams for you. Usually at this time every year, I think about myself and what I need to improve, what I want to accomplish the upcoming year, etc. How refreshing it is to think about someone else! I keep thinking of what I must do to help you become the person you are meant to be. As I've been thinking about this, one of my favorite songs kept popping in my mind. So I'll share it with you.
Simple Man
Lynyrd Skynyrd
Mama told me when I was young
"Come sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely to what I say
And if you do this it'll help you some sunny day"
"Oh, take your time, don't live too fast
Troubles will come and they will pass
You'll find a woman and you'll find love
And don't forget, son, there is someone up above"
"And be a simple kind of man
Oh, be something you love and understand
Baby be a simple kind of man
Oh, won't you do this for me, son, if you can"
"Forget your lust for the rich man's gold
All that you need is in your soul
And you can do this, oh baby, if you try
All that I want for you, my son, is to be satisfied"
"And be a simple kind of man
Oh, be something you love and understand
Baby be a simple kind of man
Oh, won't you do this for me, son, if you can"
Oh yes, I will
"Boy, don't you worry, you'll find yourself
Follow your heart and nothing else
And you can do this, oh baby, if you try
All that I want for you, my son, is to be satisfied"
"And be a simple kind of man
Oh, be something you love and understand
Baby be a simple kind of man
Oh, won't you do this for me, son, if you can"
Baby, be a simple, really simple man
Oh, be something you love and understand
Lincoln, I can't find the words to tell you how much I love you. I am blown away by the amount of love I have for you. I love you and your Dad more than anything else in this world. I love you, my son.
Love,
Your Mother
Beautiful.
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