November 1, 2011

it's a bright kind, sunshiny day

I had one of those moments today when I was reallyoverwhelmed. I'm not talking about looking at my planner and realizing I had a million and one things to do. I'm talking about waking up way early (ok, more like 6:15) to finish up some homework and finding out that we forgot to pay our internet bill, so I couldn't get on the internet. Then, having a minor meltdown because my homework wasn't finished in time for class, and wouldn't be able to submit. (No worries, I talked to my teacher, and he was understanding and allowed me to still submit the homework). Then, everything seemed to pile on my shoulders in my first class. I knew when I signed up for the class (a 400 level class) that my workload would be plentiful, but man oh man I underestimated it. I left the class in tears. I couldn't believe how much work I had to do for that one class, on top of my other four classes, who were also in need of my attention. Needless to say, I was a emotional wreck. I went home. And I had an hour and half to before my next class to pull myself together.

In the midst of my anxiety, I decided that because I couldn't get on the internet still, or go up on campus quite yet, I needed a bubble bath. Here is one confession of mine, I adore bubble baths. And it always helps me relax and get a grip with reality. One of my favorite pastimes is taking a bubble bath with a book. Today, that book happened to be, "Life is Short. Wear Your Party Pants" by Loretta LaRoche. I got the book forever ago on the clearance shelf in Barnes and Noble. At the time, I thought the title was funny, and since Ms. LaRoche is a professional speaker on the subject of stress relieving, I bought it. Anyway, today the book was a perfect choice. During those moments of my bubble bath, it was reconfirmed to me to live in the moment. stress is good. take a chill pill. Ms. LaRoche has a wonderful sense of humor, and the few pages I read helped me calm down tremendously. She re-enforced me to reevaluate my priorities, and how I view myself. Of course, Ms. LaRoche is no substitute for apostles, or our prophet, but it helped in the same way. And I was grateful all the same.

One of the ideas she mentioned was to stop self-fllaguating yourself. She said if we listened to that inner voice within us every time it puts us down, imagine those put downs as whip marks on your back. A little gruesome, but it made the point that is it really worth it? We don't need to constantly be putting ourselves down, because we are doing the best we can. Step by step, day by day we get better. And we should recognize that instead of always punishing ourselves.

So it's Tuesday. Meltdown? Check. Recovery from meltdown? Check. Optimism for the rest of the week? Done.