What I've learned... a lot.
Lately I've been visiting with the idea of how much I've learned throughout my life. I realize that this is indeed a provoking thought, and cannot be figured out in one day. I don't know why, but this last week my brain has received a great workout trying to sort through all this. This past week, I have revisited concepts I've heard since I was young, but finally, finally they are beginning to really hold meaning. For instance,
eternal life. Yes, I have heard about this wonderful, amazing concept for years. But finally, it stuck with me. That I have an opportunity to receive eternal life through my worthiness, and be able to live with family forever. I honestly think this train of thought came about while watching the movie "Contagion" with Denver. I told him I couldn't go to bed for an hour after we watched it because I kept thinking about death, what happens after we die, when I die will I have felt I achieved everything I wanted to? Pretty heavy stuff for eleven at night. But, this eternal life is no fantasy, no fiction novel. It is a real life concept, and it is real.
Atonement. I was reading a fabulous talk by Elder Boyd K. Packer from last General Conference entitled, "Counsel to Youth." Although technically I am an adult, I feel like a youth again. Elder Packer gave wonderful counsel to the youth of the church, especially about the Atonement. I loved how he put it, "It is not expected that you go through life without making mistakes...here it is time to remind you of the Atonement, repentance, and complete forgivness to the point that you can become pure again." I love that because maybe it set in that I will have kids someday, and more than anything, I want them to know and understand the Atonement, that although we will make mistakes, whether critical or not, we have the Atonement and we must use it. If we don't, it is saying that what our Savior did was of little importance. I will not have my children or even myself have the idea that the Atonement is only for those who have made serious, critical mistakes.
Love. Ok, so of course love is a simple thing to understand. I have been saying "I love you" to my grandparents, parents, brother, and friends since I could talk. But recently, I found out that most husbands need their wives to hear them say "I love you" more. Luckily, this is no problem for me, because I tell Denver that every minute it seems. But on a deeper level, love is such a wonderful gift we are able to feel for others, and I couldn't imagine a world without love. And being married to Denver has made me realize what love really is. That sounds so cliche, but it is so true. To be able to love someone with as much intensity and care is overwhelming at times. But it is wonderful to love those in your life with care and intensity.
I think I have been extra sensitive lately to how I've been living my life, and how I act with others. Maybe it's because I'm finally learning how to become better, living a more fulfilling life. And I've learned that we are not on earth to be alone or to live a solitary life. We are on earth to love others, embrace and live the gospel. To love one another. I certainly have a long way to go and improve, but I am willing and able to accept that challenge. I loved this other quote by President Packer--
"Take hold of your life and order yourself to be valiant."