October 19, 2015

Dear Lincoln #4

Dear Lincoln,

I can't believe we're already in the countdown zone until we are able to meet you. Two more weeks depending if everything is on schedule. No pressure or anything though. You will come when you are ready, and I am more than okay with that. 

Your Dad and I finished your nursery yesterday. I have spent most of today walking by it, standing in the doorway and contemplating the significance of your room. It comes with a lot of unknowns and anxiety of course, but mostly I feel peace when I look into it. I fill that room up with my love, hopes, and dreams for you. I look forward to the feelings of love and tenderness that will be felt there. 

Lincoln, I am still very much a whirlwind of emotions when I think that I will be your mother. Being a mother in general is something I never envisioned myself as. Yet as the days draw closer, I feel that peace and comfort overpower any other emotion I feel. I admit, I still cannot grasp what it means to be a mother-- the only things I have to go on is my own instinct, and your amazing grandma and her example. Because she's such a wonderful mother to me :) I know, admit it, I worry a lot. I know it will come together piece by piece. Just be patient with me. We'll navigate this new journey together. I'll have your back if you have mine :) 

I've thought a lot these past few days about how quick nine months really does fly by. I spent most of my pregnancy working, and that kept me busy and my mind off the anxiety I was feeling. I remember thinking how quickly November would come, and true enough, it's right around the corner. I've spent the last couple of months preparing as much as I can, in my own way, for you. Everything improvement I've made, everything I do, I do for and because of you. 

Your Dad and I are now anxiously waiting your arrival. We can't wait to meet you. You have many people waiting here who already love you. So, come when you are ready. I'll be waiting. 


Your Mother